Say Goodnight, Dick!

Those who remember the old 1960's comedy show Laugh In recall that the show always ended with co-host, Dick Martin, saying something really stupid and his partner, Dan Rowen, saying "Say Goodnight Dick." It was a weekly put down for Dick to shut up and not tell another lame joke or make another stupid comment. And then Dick would say stupidly, "Good Night, Dick."


So, last night, it was our own Dick--Dick Cheney, who once again opened his foul mouth to speak out about Afghanistan. Good God--just say NOTHING, Dick--ever! And especially, don't even think about telling us how to run a war.


His message was that the President was "dithering" and afraid to make the decisions to deploy more troops, so that we aren't doing what is absolutely necessary to support his General in the field to give him what he needs to "fulfill the mission." And of course, he had to say that the troops were endangered because of the dithering.


One man's dithering is another man's reflective planning.


It's the continuing struggle to figure out what the "mission" is after 8 years that makes Afghanistan so problematic. Yet, like Iraq, Cheney never met a Mission he couldn't morph. He also fails to understand that deploying troops endangers them much more than withdrawing them does.


Say Goodnight, Dick! We don't want to hear you any more--ever! You are the architect of the single largest foreign policy debacle in U.S. history--the Iraq War. You rushed us into that war, Dick, when some reflective "dithering" to allow those pesky weapons inspections to be completed would have been the prudent thing to do.


Dick, you need to go away and shut up. You have done enough damage in the world for several lifetimes. Your unpatriotic criticisms of the President and never-ending sage "advice" smacks of self-serving attempts to either re-write history or continued efforts to enrich your own wallet.


Let's never forget the millions of dollars that Dick has made for himself as a War Profiteer. When our soldiers go to war, Haliburton goes with them (thanks solely to Dick), and we pay its employees much more than we pay our soldiers, and we pay Haliburton many times the retail value of the cost of their goods and services, year after year, war after war. Remember the $10 Cokes that Haliburton sold to our troops? Dick does, he cashed the dividend checks. And all the while, Dick snears and gripes and criticizes all the way to the bank.


Perhaps I'd have some respect for Dick if he hadn't requested and received 5 deferments when it was his time to serve in Vietnam, or if he wasn't still thrilled to be a torturer, or if he hadn't lied about taking us to war in Iraq, or if he hadn't ignored Afghanistan for eight years while continually redefining the mission in Iraq to cover up his pre-war lies, failed strategies, and incompetence in running both wars.


And I might have some respect for Dick if he would quietly disappear from public view and disgorge all of the profits that he ever made from these wars. I might have some respect for Dick if he would sell all of his Haliburton stock and use the proceeds (and his disgorged profits) to create a charitable foundation for the sole benefit of the families of the soldiers who died in his wars, and to pay for the extraordinary medical expenses faced by those brave soldiers who have been wounded in his wars , and who will carry their physical and mental injuries for the rest of their lives.


When you stop cashing in, Dick, and when you help those whose lives you've ruined, Dick, or when you pick up a gun and go fight yourself, Dick, then you can talk again.


Until then, it's not a Laugh In, its a tragedy. Go Away. Say Goodnight, Dick.